abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:48 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't wait 'til I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear.
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:02 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
←Rate | 02-12-2011 17:17 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:46 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 15:59 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you shut off the Internet in the US, we'd overthrow the government within hours.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think I talk too much, let me know. We can talk about it.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 15:16 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where you can take what you just said back.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 13:41 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 12:49 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
←Rate | 03-11-2011 13:59 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Hey West Coast, it's the East Coast. We checked it out for you, and today isn't worth getting up for. Go ahead and sleep in.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:19 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 11:51 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think when someone asks for advice they're really asking "want to start a debate?"
←Rate | 02-15-2011 14:15 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife and I have are talking about renewing our vows. Or as I like to call it, getting a double life sentence.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3 hours.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:37 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 23:08 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Just kidding" is just an excuse to not get in trouble for something that you really wanted to say all along.
←Rate | 03-19-2011 19:23 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, "I saw it" when they're done.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 20:26 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're so annoying you should just wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry."
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:27 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 11:36 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

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