life Funny Status Messages

   In hell, you have to pick just one person to have sex with for the rest of your life. Wait...

   If only life was as easy as getting fat.

   Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you're doing anything with your life today.

   Every day that I don't die is the best day of my life.

   second guessed over 80% of the decisions that I have made in life. Maybe 90%.

   Don't you love it when your iPod is about to fall, and your earphones save it's life?

   Life is a puzzle. Stop trying to place people where they don't fit.

   My life is like this. I need a spoon but the only thing they offer are chopsticks.

   Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

   People make life so hard. smile be happy. hold no grudges. and have sex

   High on life and also a tiny bit of paint.

   So pathetic when some people use Facebook as their drama diary. Every. Freakin. Day. If your life is really that bad, you should probably do something about it. No, whining on Facebook is not considered "something."

   attending life, and has no plans afterwards

   life is all about ass. Your'e either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or you live with one!

   I honestly believe Nancy Grace thinks she can bring Caylee back to life....that or is SHE the one making money off of a lil girl's death?? Think about it!

   You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

   Life is like a warm cookie, you think you got it in one peice then it all crumbles

   I'm at that stage in life where I have to choose between getting loved or getting laid. Tough!

   My love life is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.

   If you've never manually separated your butt cheeks to amplify a mediocre fart into a fantastic one, we could never be real life friends.