mike Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wonder if Uranus is getting tired of being the butt of everyone's jokes?
←Rate | 05-18-2016 08:07 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon offering his new drink. It's the Bin Laden. It's two shots and a splash of water.
←Rate | 05-03-2011 06:31 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart
←Rate | 08-19-2009 23:43 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put an "EBOLA QUARANTINE" sticker on my front door and now we don't have problems with salesmen, thieves, or neighbors.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 20:58 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's resolution time when someone has to stop to rest on the way up the stairs TO the gym.....
←Rate | 01-04-2010 13:46 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the Internet. Back in the old days, we had no idea how many ignorant people there are out there. Now, we've got a datapoint.
←Rate | 02-05-2014 18:36 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the government shuts down, does that mean all of the politicians have to get real jobs?
←Rate | 09-30-2013 19:39 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking of celebrating Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way ...... I'll invite everyone in my neighborhood over to my house, have an enormous feast, then kill them and take their land.
←Rate | 11-08-2010 08:26 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
←Rate | 06-17-2014 12:53 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how little I do in a day....I always feel like I could have done less.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 23:58 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I heard on the radio that Lucasfilm was working on a movie featuring Yoda. Can you imagine writing 90 minutes of dialog for Yoda? Insane the writers will be going.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 16:41 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
←Rate | 04-05-2013 21:04 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by all of the rotten-tooth smiles I see in this town, they should put the Fluoride in the meth instead of the water.
←Rate | 04-29-2014 09:03 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies conclude that labs cause cancer in rats.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 14:46 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:45 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon without me awesome is only aweso
←Rate | 06-15-2009 16:20 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, which Pope is your favorite going into the combine?
←Rate | 03-11-2013 19:52 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Craigslist--the site where I can find anything, until I actually want to buy something....
←Rate | 02-02-2014 10:03 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dennis Rodman now has more international relations experience than most of Congress. Let that sink in for a minute.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 19:22 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon My crash diet just crashed face first into a bacon double cheeseburger and a large order of fries.
←Rate | 09-04-2013 15:13 by Mike Comments (0)  



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