RandomGirlie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon thinks that if you post an album titled "WeDdInG PhoToS", you are probably too young to be married.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 22:27 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone came up to me and said get a life...I punched them in the face and said get a helmet.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 20:26 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you assign numerical values to each letter of the alphabet, in order, (A=1 and Z=26) you will find that hard work gives you 98%, but bullsh!t gives you 103%. Math does not lie.
←Rate | 04-17-2010 16:05 by RandomGirlie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 22:51 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the outcome of what I strive for is consistently determined by things completely out of my control, my give-a-damn reacts accordingly. I'm just sayin'...
←Rate | 03-24-2010 23:29 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glow-in-the-dark condoms: now you see it, now you don't!
←Rate | 05-06-2010 14:59 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of peeps these days have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 22:59 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon asks: Is it wrong to want to be the designated driver just so you can drop obnoxious drunk a$$holes off at random houses that aren't theirs?
←Rate | 04-22-2010 23:43 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It took me many years to lose my mind. Why the hell would I want a piece of yours?
←Rate | 05-06-2010 14:41 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Today, thank you for trying. I'm glad you're almost over. Love, X
←Rate | 02-17-2010 20:43 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon there will never be true equality until men have to wear jockey shorts with under-wires that lift and separate.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:16 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw the best T-shirt EVER today: "Who the hell needs Hooters when you've got BALLS?" Win.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 20:31 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pirate first aid: If the wound is smaller than your fist, drink rum. If it's larger than your fist, stuff a parrot in it.
←Rate | 02-20-2010 14:57 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why the chick who flipped me off in the parking lot this morning couldn't find a better use for that finger. She could have been so much happier!
←Rate | 05-01-2010 00:28 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kid pointed to his crotch all day and said "woody!"
←Rate | 03-17-2010 23:28 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget the "Dislike" button....can we get a "Don't Give a F*ck" button ?
←Rate | 03-19-2010 20:20 by RandomGirlie Comments (1)  


   messageicon S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 22:04 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks she settled the argument over whether you refer to a carbonated beverage as "soda, pop, or Coke"....it's "chaser!"
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:42 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we really knew exactly what we were getting into when we decided to have kids, I'm pretty sure we'd be screwed as a species.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 21:36 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the assclown who was driving the Prius in front of me earlier: The interstate DOES NOT HAVE a left turn lane. Not sure why it took you 23 miles to figure this out....
←Rate | 02-19-2010 23:43 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


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