Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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FACEBOOK..... YOU ARE NOT MY THERAPIST!!! DONT ASK ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE! 
Everytime I read "Happy Hanukkah" It reminds me of 'Hakuna Matata''
says it just isn't fair there are children starving in Africa, And I wake up looking this good.
Treat ur tuthbrush like a girlfrnd Use atleast twice a day Dont let any1 else use it, & replace it in every 3 months.:-)
Trump has chosen Mickey pence as his vice-president. Did anyone in their wildest dreams even imagine that Donald and Mickey would run America one day!? Walt Disney would be proud of this!
He's doing a fabulous job of destroying the economy that president Obama left him. Tremendous job!
Are Tyler Perry movies some kind of punishment for slavery?
if you are reading this you love lesbians!
If this God wanted to impress me with his miracles, he would've impregnanted Joseph and not a poor, unwed teenage girl. That sh|t happens everyday.
Don't stand up for the national anthem = USA hater. Don't stand up & pay taxes to support the national infrastructure = genius businessman?
A lot of people make fun of the stuff Glenn Beck says. But don't forget he also has a really stupid face
Try this experiment: The next time someone says "Oh, I'm fine..." look them square in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth." Sometimes all people really want is someone to take an interest. Show them you care all the time, not just at Christmas.
Girls are superheros cause who else could bleed for 5 days and not die!?
God never made a smart atheist... even tho many of the fools claim to be
Thinks that since Michael Jackson was 90% plastic, they should melt him down and turn him into Legos so little kids can play with him for a change.
Donald Trump looks like the nasty businessman in a Disney movie who loses out to a six year-old and his dog.
Obama is in town. Traffic is bad. I won't be able to vote for him in 2012 because I'll still be sitting in my car.
We should agree on removing Boehner from government. He is an idiot, and his lacky supporters in the background need to push him off a cliff.....waisting American time only to finally pass the tax Bill!
you can post the Ten Commandments in the courthouse, if you let us post the statutes regarding child molestation in your church
So who was this Maya Angelou? Was she the one that wouldn't give up her seat on the bus? 