Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Chill, single moms. You don't see us single dads celebrating mother's day!

   ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.

   My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.

   You don't have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up

   Once, while camping, my Mother in Law stumbled upon two ferocious Black Bears.....the bears immediately played dead..... until she left

   .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.

   3 dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks.To be as rich as his child believes.To have as many women as his wife suspects

   If you wouldn't make her your wife.. Don't make her a mother!

   My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine.

   This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."

   Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.

   Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.

   Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today

   Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blue? I wonder if she would have liked it if her mother named her Racoon Red? WTF is wrong with these celebs........

   if I could just harness the powers of that groundhog to predict the future...I'd be unstoppable...and I could dig like a mother fu@ker too...

   Marriage tip #392: Don't ever, ever start an argument with your wife with "Your f**kin' mother"......

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids.

   To all the mothers: Happy Mother's Day. Don't let it go to your head. You are a working double tomorrow.

   can officially call myself a man today, made cupcakes on my own without the help of mother!

   You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.