life Funny Status Messages

   So yesterday at about this time, I was all like, "I'm so thankful for my friends, my life, my freedom." Today...I'd risk prison punching you in the neck for a flat screen.

   I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!

   Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.

   One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We're not sure if he's life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.

   I sure hopes they're wrong about the world ending in 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on Facebook with you guys ;)

   The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.

   The government closed Megaupload and Piratebay.org might be next.. But life goes on.. We will always find a way.. Mark my words.

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without drugs and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.

   Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.

   If you don't like the way I think, simple Unfriend me, as my day, life, won't stop because of it.

   It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho the rest of your life.

   The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.

   strived his whole life to become wise. When I accomplished my goal I realized it was a big mistake because now I have to put up with idiots.

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

   As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point up

   Naps are for old people. I was taking a horizontal life pause. :)

   When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory.

   Life is all about A$$! You are either covering it! Kissing it! Busting it! Laughing it off! Trying to get a piece of it! ......Or you live with one!!!

   Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.