paulb808 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway
←Rate | 05-16-2010 21:59 by paulb808 Comments (1)  


   messageicon that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:45 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just wants someone to tell me how Facebook ends so I don't have finish all this reading.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 00:53 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:00 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no woman will ever be truely satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:53 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a girl in a plain push wheelchair holding on to her guy's motorized wheelchair and rolling behind him. Dude, she's using you.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 03:15 by paulb808 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I dont see why facebook feels the need to notify me everyday that some of you have changed your profile picture. Unless your naked...I dont give a sh%t
←Rate | 08-21-2010 13:21 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women spend 2% of their lives trying to figure out where bruises on their legs came from
←Rate | 08-23-2010 03:50 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend has a weird fetish, she likes to dress up like herself and act like a b!tch every night.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:59 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where you discover that people you once respected can't spell.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 01:25 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 00:09 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dad is taking ownership of my phone for a day so if you could refrain from sending me texts like "F&ck me gently with a chainsaw"(2:30am) then that would be fantastic
←Rate | 04-18-2010 21:18 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aw sh!t…im the only black person in my african studies class. This could be awkward…
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:58 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally said “LOL” today. I think I deserve to be shot.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 03:19 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I think something and I'm like, "that would be a good Facebook Status update." This is not one of those.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 01:02 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
←Rate | 05-03-2010 12:57 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, I knew it was time to go.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 20:05 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon took some time off from Facebook and got a LOT of work done. Won't make that mistake again..
←Rate | 04-25-2010 01:27 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U love someone and you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes ur wife and the one you love becomes the password of your email
←Rate | 04-09-2010 03:56 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that Operation "Gain As Much Weight As Humanly Possible While On Vacation" is right on schedule so far.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 00:54 by paulb808 Comments (0)  



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