rll Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Told my friend if he causes us to go to jail, I am slapping the soap out of his hands...
←Rate | 09-23-2010 21:41 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 11:38 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 13:01 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point up
←Rate | 10-22-2010 11:43 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 11:41 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 11:23 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon The main trouble with mental notes is, the ink fades so fast.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 11:22 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say money doesn't buy happiness.....I am guessing you're shopping at the wrong store...
←Rate | 08-27-2010 11:29 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read where the main Ingredient of Viagra was Miracle Grow and Fit-A-Flat....
←Rate | 08-26-2010 11:43 by RLL Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.
←Rate | 10-29-2010 14:35 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear freezer, I get so hard for you. Sincerely Water.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 09:14 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 17:33 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Common divorce : $10,000-$30,000, Box of 22 shells $7.28, You do the math...
←Rate | 11-30-2010 15:38 by rll Comments (1)  


   messageicon relationship status will changed from "married" to " It's complicated " about once a month.. I love my wife....
←Rate | 09-06-2010 12:18 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 13:00 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Figures, the only time the world beat a path to my door and I am taking a crap in the bathroom..
←Rate | 10-22-2010 11:32 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
←Rate | 10-14-2010 05:29 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah Man! Nothing worse than seeing two flies fornicating on your fresh off the grill, 12 dollar ribeye steak.....Appetite gone.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 17:00 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any intelligent man who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 17:37 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.
←Rate | 10-28-2010 17:45 by RLL Comments (1)  


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