Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Mother Nature is blowing everyone tonight.

   My mother in-law is letting me renovate her kitchen. My wife told me to get the cupboards from that Scandinavian company with the short name. Turns out it was IKEA not LEGO,

   Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

   A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '23.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.'

   My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.

   Dear Facebook, I'm fully capable of finding my phone friends so if you can do me a favor and stop suggesting them to me like my mother did when I was 5 years old that would be great. Thanks!

   Of all days, who deletes someone on Mother's Day....just for that, I'm never talking to my mom again.

   I always sharpen my guest bed of nails before my mother-in-law comes to visit.

   The story of “how I met your father” is shorter than “how I met your mother.

   Let us all heed Vanilla Ice's advice on a day like this......"Word to your mother"

   My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

   Bristol is following in her mother's footsteps, having no talent and people still root for her!

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   Dear Mr. Kotter, Juan was unable to complete his homework because he had to take me to the Doctor for my lumbago. Signed, Epstein's Mother RIP Robert Hegyes

   When you get married, wouldn't it make more sense for the groom's mother to walk the bride down the aisle? That way you would have the woman that brought you into this world and the woman that will take you out of it.

   HOODTRANSLATIONS: "Bruh I got da whip"= My mother was kind enough to let me use the car Today.....

   - Little boy writes to Santa: Please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: Ok, send me your mother.

   In mother Russia, Turkey shoots you for Thanksgiving