love Funny Status Messages

   If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.

   Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!

   If you don't love me at my worst, good call. I wouldn't put up with me either.

   My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine.

   I went to Jared for my girlfriend's Christmas gift. I'm sure she will love her Subway gift card.

   Lucky = A man who is a woman's 1st love. Luckier = A woman who is a man's last love.

   if you love something and you were dumb enough to let it go then you didn't deserve it in the first place.

   I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop.

   A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!

   "So You Think You Can Tickle A Polar Bear" is a show that I would love to watch.

   My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR

   I'm just a boy. In love with a girl. Standing here quietly. Behind your shower curtain. Watching.

   I love piecing my night together one drunk text at a time.

   Actually, Jon Bon Jovi, it's Courtney that gave 'Love' a bad name

   Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like god came down and highlighted all the important parts.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back knocking on your door with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.

   e-harmony proves that even people who wear shorts, dress socks and sandals CAN find true love.

   I believe in forgiveness. If someone hurt the ones I love... I'd probably kill that motherf*cker. But I'd forgive myself REALLY quick.

   You should have told me that your love has an expiration date.

   Drinking, smoking and fatty foods are taking too long to kill me. I had to fall in love again to speed-up the process.