life Funny Status Messages

   Congrats on being one of the "cool kids" in Highschool. Too bad about the rest of your life though.

   if you have ever bought clothes to match the color of your crocs you need to seriously rethink your life.

   Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.

   Feeling Bored? Post a status on Facebook that says " Hillary Clinton 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.

   my phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket

   One of the most important things I've learned in life is to have at least one person with whom you never need to explain yourself.

   thinks there are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them

   just realized life hasn't changed much. 15years ago on Sunday night I was wishing I was grown up and had a job. Today night I'm up wishing I was in school.......

   Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks.

   For the life of me, I can't understand why small and medium pizzas exist.

   If you're not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever.

   It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.

   What's the difference between complete and finished? When you have a beautiful girlfriend your life is complete, your wife finds out about it you're finished.

   My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.

   Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I'm 82.

   Sometimes I walk up to a plant and exhale carbon dioxide all over it. Did I save its life? Maybe. Am I a hero? That's for history to decide.

   Not everyone that comes into your life needs to stay there.

   We should handle everything in life like a Dog would... if you can't eat it or play with it then just pee on it and walk away.

   If anyone ever tells me I put too much parmesan cheese on my pasta, I stop talking to them, b/c I don't need that kind of negativity in my life

   Never in my life have I ever seen someone so excited to take a sh!t!----Those Bears in the Charmin commercial