Funny Status Messages Search

X Just watched a clip of Jersey Shore... Now my eye's have chlamydia.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-05-2012 12:23 by bfinest Comments (0)

X I usually dodge becoming a third wheel by saying "I have the Flu''.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 13:10 by bfinest Comments (0)

X says I was in hospital the other day when I saw a sign that read, 'Rape Victims.' So I did.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 14:04 by bfinest Comments (0)

X it just me, or are women really negative? It's always "No, no, no!" with them.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 14:07 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Teenage girls usually get upset after discovering they are pregnant, so I console them. "Your boobs will get bigger!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 14:19 by bfinest Comments (0)

X ‎"Don't judge me" means "read my Facebook profile but don't look at the pictures."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 14:22 by bfinest Comments (0)

X When someone dies I never know what to say, but I think about all the horrible things I shouldn't say and hold them in.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 14:24 by bfinest Comments (0)

X I think some people just shouldn't be allowed reproduce because of their IQ level.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-08-2012 17:28 by bfinest Comments (0)

X The ONLY reason I haven't unfriended you yet is because you have huge boobs and I have a feeling that I would miss seeing them.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-09-2012 19:37 by bfinest Comments (0)

X says I'm hungry .......I really need to hire a wife.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-09-2012 23:04 by bfinest Comments (0)

X I feel bad that Snooki's baby has gotten laid before I did.*forever a vin *

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2012 09:38 by bfinest Comments (0)

X says i feel bad that Snooki's baby has gotten laid before I did *forever a virgin*

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2012 09:39 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Stacy's Mom-The Music video that lead an entire generation into masturbation.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2012 14:25 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Yesterday someone gave me a piece of "humble pie''.....Mine tastes better.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-11-2012 09:28 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Sasha Gray,Bree Olsen,Lisa Ann,Lela Star,Mone Devine,Jasmine Byrne,Liz Vicious,Jade Marcella,Lavish Styles,Sky Lopez and Little Lupe......If all those names sound familiar to you I have news for you.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-11-2012 22:52 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Not everyone that comes into your life needs to stay there.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-13-2012 15:19 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Just got through watching ''Black Swan".Thought it was a movie about nature turned out to be a softcore Porno.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-13-2012 16:12 by bfinest Comments (0)

X It disturbs me to see how much I say the word "Retard'' in everyday conversations..But never on Facebook where they are abundant.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-14-2012 10:46 by bfinest Comments (0)

X Dude don't tell me what's off limits!,It's not like I got your sister pregnant!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-15-2012 17:26 by bfinest Comments (0)

X If you're not getting laid then bragging about being single and not in a relationship is pretty fckuing pointless.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-17-2012 21:18 by bfinest Comments (0)