life Funny Status Messages

   pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.

   Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you're an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.

   expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian.

   Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.

   If you feel like you've done nothing in life remember that some trees take 20 years to grow only to become notebooks with Justin Bieber on them.

   Sometimes I think that life is one big test...and I'm in the wrong classroom.

   Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

   Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.

   As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way...

   Ever accidently throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? Haha. I did this with my life.

   If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'"

   If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave..

   "Hi, I'm here to ruin your life" - Social media

   My life is like when you're holding your laundry and a sock falls and you go to pick it up and two more fall and eventually everything is on the floor.

   You know your life sucks when the therapist doesn't even return your calls.

   I'll defend puppies & kittens with my life.. But if your kid's acting like a spoiled brat...I will ABSOLUTELY knock him over when you're not looking.

   Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...

   I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!

   Nothing says "I've made poor life decisions" like a couch in your front yard.

   I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately.