life Funny Status Messages

   French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."

   Saw the mystery machine from Scooby Doo driving on the highway. Is this real life?

   Just when you finally get to that moment you've been waiting for all your life, somebody yells "Time's up!"

   My biggest regret in life is missing you..., When I backed up

   My life is just one long improvisation.

   Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!

   Just sitting here thinking. We don't need more religion, we have plenty. What we need are more Christians, living a Christ like life!

   sometimes, you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life.

   wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"

   You call it the love of your life, I call it a bottle of liquor.

   When Life gives you lemons, consider purchasing a different cereal.

   Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person's life takes serious commitment.

   when you think your life sucks, just remember that somewhere in the world is one poor b*stard named Mr. Pelosi....

   There comes a point in everybody's life when they feel forgotten by someone they'll never forget.

   Imagine a guy trying to run upstairs while wearing roller blades. That's my life

   Sometimes Religion is a crutch for the weak, the lazy, the clueless and the plain ignorant. Many times I have witnessed Christianity used as a refuge by some people who cannot deal with life and its daily struggles, so they turn towards religion for help.

   I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life..

   Let me just take care of all of this reposting I have to do at once? My life is wonderful, I hate cancer, I donated to Haiti, I support our troops, I love my Mom,I`m from Everett,Hugs and smiles to to you,I won`t join your farmville, I won`t be answering

   We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.

   Married women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!