Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6016 of 6374
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Cremaster muscle- the muscle that raised the testes when cold. Sumo wrestlers can voluntarily move this muscle to protect themselves.
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04-12-2010 12:04
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You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!
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cancelling Mondays due to lack of interest!!!
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04-12-2010 11:25
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wondering why the hair on her legs grows so much faster than the hair on her head!
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04-12-2010 10:52 by Andrea
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would like to remind everyone that today is "Spay & Neuter Your Rednecks Day."
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04-12-2010 10:45 by Leeferd
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Its simple.PG,means the hero gets the girl,PG13 means that the villain gets the girl and 18 means everybody gets the girl!!!
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04-12-2010 10:15
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Males are born with a closed fist.Girls are born with the left hand cramped in a position of the size of a credit card!
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04-12-2010 10:11
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just did a shot of wheatgrass* and now I'm off to the gym**! (*=bourbon, **=pub)
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04-12-2010 09:52 by Brades
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going to write a meaningful new Facebook status update, filled with deep, thoughtful sentiments, but screw that.
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04-12-2010 09:52 by Brades
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I just love some of the things men say to get us into bed"Baby I'll only put it in for one minute!"What am I?!?!A fricken microwave!?!!!
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The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.~Leonardo Da Vinci
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04-12-2010 08:58
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looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.
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04-12-2010 08:48 by markf
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says having kids means having pictures in my wallet where I used to have money!!
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04-12-2010 07:30 by COREY
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Waking up on a Monday morning isn't hard. Convincing myself that getting out of bed is worth it---that's the real challenge
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04-12-2010 07:07 by trini
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maybe it's just me, but the term "cul-de-sac" always makes me think of a scrotum.
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04-12-2010 06:41
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-- Is it called a "Wonderbra" because when she takes it off you wonder, where the f**k have her t*ts gone ?......
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04-12-2010 05:37 by Y.P
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If there's one thing I like to rock,it's casbahs.
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women are much smarter than men.Think about it,diamonds are girls' best friend...a mans best friend is a dog.
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04-12-2010 02:15 by Abel254
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wondering why abbreviated is such a long word?
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04-12-2010 02:05
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You're one of those people who pushes when the door says pull aren't you?
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04-12-2010 00:34
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