Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   I fold and hang clothes all day at work...then on my day off I have to do laundry...now I know what a prostitute feels like coming home to her man

   Does a prostitute file pregnancy as a work-related accident?

   If I ever get caught soliciting a prostitute, I'm going to say "These aren't the droids I've been looking for!".

   Just had sex with a Prostitute who had only one eye. Told her I might see her again. She said shed keep an eye out for me.

   When life gets too stressful, sometimes you need professional help. Hire a prostitute, they're highly-trained at stress release.

   Great news for YOU , I found a prostitute that charges by the inch, I obviusly can't afford her but I figured I'd pass it onto you so you could enjoy a cheap night out

   Look, if I thought my feelings needed to be spared I would've just went to a prostitute and saved myself the effort!

   In some places in India it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitute than it is to buy a condom.

   Judge: "Wen did you realised you hv been raped?" Prostitute: "When the cheque bounced"

   A Zimbabwean man says a prostitute he hired transformed into a donkey. Sounds like he got himself a real piece of ass.

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $10. Guess who got his car washed?

   Going to McDonalds for oatmeal is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

   Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? A. He did okay until his business fell off.

   A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”

   A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the

   Whenever I see a Mattress on top of a car, I wonder to myself if its a prostitute makin house calls

   If I slept with a prostitute, when we finished I would tell her that I am also a prostitute and we can just call it even.

   What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"

   Bragging to me you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got some chips from a vending machine.

   We now live in a society where a prostitute earns more money than a school teacher. This means we have to start paying prostitutes as poorly as we do school teachers.