santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   The week between Christmas and New Year's should be called "Taint Week".

   No, I didn't gain weight over the holidays....I'm just retaining Christmas cookies, that's all....

   Spent too much money over Christmas so tonight I'm going to party like its $19.99

   Time to lose a little weight from the holidays with my guaranteed to work weight loss program that's called "Log Out of Facebook"

   My neighbors still have their Christmas wreath on the door. I was gonna knock to complain, but I don’t like confrontation so I just stole it.

   This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.

   Today’s the start of the “Christmas hangover.” The holidays are over and everyone is getting their credit card bills. I just got mine and I can’t believe I spent that much on the Thigh Master.

   I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.

   Last Reminder: It's St. Patrick's Day in about 3 weeks...take down your Christmas decorations.

   Wonder why kids set out milk and cookies for Santa, but not a salad for the Easter Bunny.

   Everyone knows that Santa lives at the North Pole, but does anyone know where the Easter Bunny lives?

   Now would be an Ideal time for Netflix to release Sheldon Cooper presents Sheldon Cooper's "Fun With Flags"

   If you want to save some money, now might be a good opportunity to tell your kids that Santa did not survive the pandemic

   Locust swarms. Killer ninja murder hornets. Virus pandemics. You were complaining about Christmas music

   Now it's to hot out to take the Christmas decorations down.

   Oh come on this is ridiculous! It’s July 8th and people are still setting fireworks off. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

   I wonder if Santa Clause is going to have to wear a mask this year....

   Does anyone know if Santa will be sending out a progress report?

   .. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.

   CNN & MSNBC reporting this morning that 'Un-named sources claim Covid-19 concocted by Trump in his White House bunker using son Barron's chemistry set he got for Christmas'