DJJackson Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 12:13 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you grew up playing “lawn darts” with your siblings, your parents had too many kids and were trying to thin the herd.
←Rate | 09-06-2019 11:47 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs.
←Rate | 09-27-2019 17:55 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon United Airlines just released their new frequent flyer app. Easy to use, too. It's all drag and drop.
←Rate | 04-12-2017 09:01 by djjackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gee I sure hope the rioters in DC don’t do anything to the IRS building at 1111 Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20224.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 13:23 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's been a major recall on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Bring them to my house so I can dispose of them properly.
←Rate | 10-28-2019 11:23 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly. And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.
←Rate | 05-16-2019 14:46 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon My paperless origami business folded.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 17:16 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretending. That way, when it comes time to tend, I'll be ready.
←Rate | 04-19-2020 20:58 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor Cathy told me I was really sweet. Well, she actually said I am severely diabetic but I knew what she meant.
←Rate | 04-27-2020 00:14 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked the waitress if I could ask her a question about the menu, please. She said the men I please is none of your business.
←Rate | 06-09-2020 11:22 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife asked me to sell my Hall and Oates collection. I said I can’t go for that, no can do.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 17:01 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature
←Rate | 04-07-2020 16:05 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Goo Goo Dolls are opening for Lady Gaga. Fans are sure to go Goo Goo Gaga over it.
←Rate | 05-16-2019 12:47 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a case of corona from walmart and I never felt better!
←Rate | 04-07-2020 15:36 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the place.
←Rate | 04-07-2020 15:58 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like I’m going to have to buy toilet paper. That brush next to the toilet hurts.
←Rate | 03-30-2020 15:53 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon From Cairo, Egypt: The government has instructed all city cab drivers to sound their horns while driving through the city. It's hoped that a return of familiar city sounds will help restore calm due to the pandemic. Operation Toot N Calm Em will last abou
←Rate | 06-22-2020 16:46 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to KFC yesterday and when I was done licking my fingers, I offered to lick other peoples fingers. Long story short. I need bail money.
←Rate | 09-05-2019 20:42 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate too much salad over the weekend so I'm going on an Oreo cleanse today.
←Rate | 11-06-2017 08:58 by djjackson Comments (0)  



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