Starman Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Just about all husbands lie on their tax returns by listing them self as head of household.
←Rate | 01-12-2020 22:05 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I've never smpathized more with women in my life.
←Rate | 01-16-2020 04:04 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.
←Rate | 01-11-2020 19:06 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I don't think I can get through a day without my middle finger."
←Rate | 01-17-2020 20:16 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here is a way to get rid of your unwanted junk. Pack it in an Amazon box, and place it on the porch.
←Rate | 01-11-2020 19:31 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.
←Rate | 01-29-2020 20:38 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Parents, here's a way to keep your kids busy for awhile on Easter, let them have an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 14:02 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I'm not at home and my wife is giving me the silent treatment, she'll send me blank tex messages.
←Rate | 01-31-2020 23:25 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon For sale slightly used daily planner.
←Rate | 04-09-2020 06:41 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon HELP, I'm out of booze, and sobering up.
←Rate | 04-18-2020 20:46 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey if you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
←Rate | 01-10-2020 22:06 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're fat when you only need a cup of water in the tub when taking a bath.
←Rate | 01-13-2020 00:29 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon You'll know you've grown old when your 6 pack abs turn into a keg.
←Rate | 02-20-2020 04:44 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't kid your self would be a good name for a comdom.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 21:07 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do you call a man who has everything?...... A bachelor.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 15:02 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon "It doesn't bother me that my wife goes out to play BINGO every night. It's the coming back home part that does.
←Rate | 01-18-2020 22:11 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do wives think giving their husband the silent treatment is a punishment.
←Rate | 01-31-2020 23:17 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wonder why kids set out milk and cookies for Santa, but not a salad for the Easter Bunny.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 12:55 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon YAY! Mr. Peanut back.
←Rate | 02-02-2020 19:54 by STARMAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're fat when your dog lays down in your shaddow on hot sunny days.
←Rate | 02-02-2020 14:26 by STARMAN Comments (0)  


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