Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   If I wanted a job where I got screwed every day, I would have became a prostitute.

   We now live in a society where a prostitute earns more money than a school teacher. This means we have to start paying prostitutes as poorly as we do school teachers.

   Bragging to me you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got some chips from a vending machine.

   What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"

   If I slept with a prostitute, when we finished I would tell her that I am also a prostitute and we can just call it even.

   Whenever I see a Mattress on top of a car, I wonder to myself if its a prostitute makin house calls

   A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the

   A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”

   Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? A. He did okay until his business fell off.

   Going to McDonalds for oatmeal is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $10. Guess who got his car washed?

   A Zimbabwean man says a prostitute he hired transformed into a donkey. Sounds like he got himself a real piece of ass.

   Judge: "Wen did you realised you hv been raped?" Prostitute: "When the cheque bounced"

   In some places in India it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitute than it is to buy a condom.

   Look, if I thought my feelings needed to be spared I would've just went to a prostitute and saved myself the effort!

   Great news for YOU , I found a prostitute that charges by the inch, I obviusly can't afford her but I figured I'd pass it onto you so you could enjoy a cheap night out

   When life gets too stressful, sometimes you need professional help. Hire a prostitute, they're highly-trained at stress release.

   Just had sex with a Prostitute who had only one eye. Told her I might see her again. She said shed keep an eye out for me.

   If I ever get caught soliciting a prostitute, I'm going to say "These aren't the droids I've been looking for!".

   Does a prostitute file pregnancy as a work-related accident?