Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   uses the exclamat!on po!nt a l!ttle too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   some people call it Thanksgiving Day.....I call it "Bitc* Slap Vegetarian" Day

   to belittle is to be little.

   blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.

   anger is only one letter short of danger

   In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!

   It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH

   Thanksgiving! The time of the year where the bathrooms are the busiest

   Shut up homework. I'm trying to do my facebook

   not sure what the words "PORN" and "POT" have to do with Thanksgiving ... but I know my Mom said both of them at the Dinner table tonight.

   All I said was .. "Just spread the legs open alittle wider and I'll stuff it in".....Geez thats the last time I try to help stuff a turkey !

   women are like pianos,there grand when there not upright!

   I'm not usually a fan of cliche's, but every now and then it's ok to ask yourself what you're truly thankful for...

   Gotta love sharing a bathroom with elderly family after Thanksgiving Dinner...I feel like Andy Dufrain crawling thru those 200 hundred yards of pipe for freedom....

   Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

   If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

   thank god I'm ambidextrious and thank you redtube

   can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.

   An Indian man dies and goes to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates,he meets an angel. Angel asks "Who are you here to see?". "Jesus!" the man replies. The angel then shouts "Jesus! Your taxi's here!".

   I love the Macys Thanksgiving day parade. Where you can watch your favorite stars lipsync to their hit songs!