Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Spilling your drink is the adult equivalent of letting your balloon go.

   The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.

   Women's biggest mistake: thinking men can read their minds Men's biggest mistake: not trying to read women's minds

   [variation] Spilling your drink is the adult equivalent of accidentally dropping your ice cream.

   Some people walk the walk and some people talk the talk. I drink the drink.

   Sure, I'd get married. But has her on my fb? I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.

   Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.

   If I put bricks on top of my oven... Is that considered "Brick Oven Pizza?"

   Two do list: -Do -Do

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   If schools were really serious about fundraisers, they'd sell drugs and alcohol.

   2014 parent: "when I was ur age we had morals back then...no sex before marriage,no drugs, no alcohol".Thanks for being honest...so I'll be honest as a 2044 parent "When I was ur age I had loads of unprotected sex,drugs and alcohol and here I am now"!

   As soon as you get in a relationship, everyone wanna send you that 'I miss you' text.

   I'm a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker

   When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.

   I've never been held hostage but I've been on a group text.

   No matter what life hands you. Don't put it in a fanny pack.

   I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.

   Oh, you're awake at 3AM? The rest of us don't give a F#$%...

   If booze isn't the answer, then your question sucks.