Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon "did I catch you at a bad time?" "yeah, I'm awake and sober"
←Rate | 12-09-2018 09:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 07:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s hard to stay humble when someone’s dog chooses you over them.
←Rate | 12-04-2018 14:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever hate someone so much you decide to start eating healthy just so you can watch them die first?
←Rate | 12-02-2018 12:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
←Rate | 09-20-2018 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 01:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Facebook stranger doesn’t like my opinion. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 😂
←Rate | 12-07-2018 22:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 07:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I’m small but influential. Like bacteria or Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 04-18-2018 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
←Rate | 10-18-2018 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even looking at LinkedIn's logo can result in an unsolicited email.
←Rate | 12-05-2017 06:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'll even remove your duct tape.
←Rate | 07-27-2018 12:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided to host the Oscars
←Rate | 12-09-2018 09:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I'm not your boyfriend.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 05:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 01:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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