Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Toy story 2 has yet to explain how a stuffed horse kept pace with a commercial aircraft taking off on a runway
←Rate | 12-03-2020 15:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember when the current stupidest thing was the “Gotta Get Down on Friday” song? We didn’t know how good we had it.
←Rate | 12-03-2020 15:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are the people on soap operas always CEOs? Nobody works at Walmart?
←Rate | 11-23-2020 07:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m really thankful I had a childhood before social media took over.
←Rate | 11-30-2020 12:47 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My body is the result of thousands of pull ups. Pull up to the donut shop Pull up to the drive thru window Pull up results for “nearest pizza buffet”
←Rate | 06-01-2020 12:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My five year plan is to make it through this year.
←Rate | 08-06-2020 21:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
←Rate | 05-31-2020 09:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not to brag but I used hand soap before it was trending.
←Rate | 03-06-2020 06:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people shouldn’t be informed when this quarantine is over.
←Rate | 09-17-2020 07:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The further a society drifts from the truth, The more it will hate those who speak it...
←Rate | 08-16-2020 11:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by a majority.
←Rate | 07-23-2020 20:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t adopt a puppy to see if you’re ready for kids. Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don’t go anywhere.
←Rate | 08-10-2020 08:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not sure what I did wrong to get targeted ads for pants with underwear sewn in.
←Rate | 09-08-2020 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We haven’t seen the full damage this epidemic will cause, that will happen in about five to seven months with all of the gender reveal parties.
←Rate | 09-30-2020 15:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mama Bear: The porridge is ready Papa Bear: Perfect let’s leave for a couple of hours
←Rate | 10-01-2020 07:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I sometimes wonder when I turn on the news if I'm watching breaking news about the Coronavirus or if they've playing the same broadcast on repeat since March?
←Rate | 10-03-2020 23:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The wife says she’s at the end of her rope, I guess I’ll put rope on my shopping list.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 08:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Out of all my body parts, my eyeballs are in the best shape because I roll them like 300 times a day...
←Rate | 06-18-2020 13:05 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon With the way 2020 has been going I couldn't decide last night if I wanted to sit outside to watch the meteorite shower or take cover.
←Rate | 08-12-2020 12:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Social distancing has taken all the fun out of avoiding people.
←Rate | 09-10-2020 16:17 Comments (0)  

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