flinnie Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'flinnie': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 33

   messageicon I'd be 100 % more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon April fool's day idea: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says "Now voice activated!" Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 06:20 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know those people that totally screw up their lives when they win the lottery? I would like to be one of those people.
←Rate | 03-24-2012 06:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody still rushes to get a piece?
←Rate | 05-19-2011 11:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 12:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon f you feel sad, remember: There are people out there right now buying last-minute Christmas presents for their cats.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 08:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman's voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it's working.
←Rate | 05-12-2013 07:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like we should wait to hear Adele's ex-boyfriend's songs before we choose sides.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 11:39 by flinnie Comments (2)  


   messageicon I refuse to believe that everybody was kung fu fighting. I'm sorry, but there had to be at least a couple people sitting that one out.
←Rate | 06-10-2012 18:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she's going to get me something.
←Rate | 09-23-2013 05:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life coach just told me to fake an injury
←Rate | 11-17-2012 11:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update
←Rate | 06-10-2012 19:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby
←Rate | 06-11-2013 06:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When cats and dogs finally rise up against us, the first thing they'll do is strap Santa hats to our heads and take pictures.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 06:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well that's a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I'm doing
←Rate | 05-09-2012 13:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The courthouse is a really great place to see people with neck tattoos wearing ties.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if astronomers will ever find the opening credits to Stars Wars floating out there
←Rate | 11-19-2011 09:40 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
←Rate | 02-19-2013 06:14 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
←Rate | 02-17-2015 05:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left