santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretty sure I know what my GF is getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome?" she got all angry like I'd ruined the surprise.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 11:47 by fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit!
←Rate | 12-04-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
←Rate | 09-19-2014 20:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every Christmas for the last 15 years, I've been too drunk to remember the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, enough is enough. It's time to get my act together. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)
←Rate | 12-03-2012 11:03 by caperdude89 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:37 by MikeM Comments (0)  

   messageicon My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we vowed never to play Monopoly again at Christmas...
←Rate | 01-02-2013 13:35 by @ballysboots Comments (0)  

   messageicon Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses men 7-11 employees ..!!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The average age of the viewing audience of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably 35-45 years old.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra.
←Rate | 12-24-2012 15:26 by minnie haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 07:48 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

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