santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 09:35 by dragon-king Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa put me in charge of the naughty list this year. So if you have been naughty inbox me so we can talk about your punishment and gift.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do people with spinning flashing inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments think is tacky?
←Rate | 12-01-2013 20:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretty sure I know what my GF is getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome?" she got all angry like I'd ruined the surprise.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 11:47 by fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit!
←Rate | 12-04-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
←Rate | 09-19-2014 20:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)
←Rate | 12-03-2012 11:03 by caperdude89 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:37 by MikeM Comments (0)  

   messageicon My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we vowed never to play Monopoly again at Christmas...
←Rate | 01-02-2013 13:35 by @ballysboots Comments (0)  

   messageicon The average age of the viewing audience of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably 35-45 years old.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses men 7-11 employees ..!!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra.
←Rate | 12-24-2012 15:26 by minnie haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.
←Rate | 12-09-2009 08:37 Comments (0)  

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