santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:37 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking about celebrating Christmas a week after Christmas for now on. Then I will be able to buy the same gifts at 60% off!
←Rate | 12-27-2010 06:48 by Djmiller Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.
←Rate | 11-10-2009 17:51 by BarryClark@twitter.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we vowed never to play Monopoly again at Christmas...
←Rate | 01-02-2013 13:35 by @ballysboots Comments (0)  


   messageicon The average age of the viewing audience of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably 35-45 years old.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses cops..fire men 7-11 employees ..!!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra.
←Rate | 12-24-2012 15:26 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 07:48 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry Christmas! oh, its not evern thanksgiving yet? well, how about we forward that memo to the stores, cause its beginning to look alot like christmas..EVERYWHERE I GO!
←Rate | 11-06-2010 19:16 by Ann Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do people with spinning flashing inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments think is tacky?
←Rate | 12-01-2013 20:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon christmas shopping online is confusing the kids..they see their toys being delivered one at a time. If the UPS guy would dress like Santa..problem solved.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to give a big shout out to all the pissed off kids who only get one set of presents a year because their birthday is too close to Christmas.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 22:20 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna take a wiffle ball bat into malls during Christmas shopping for those idiots that just stop suddenly in the middle of the walking area. That humming thump noise while I crack it across the back of their heads would bring joy to my holiday season
←Rate | 12-21-2010 11:27 by Stragen Comments (2)  


   messageicon Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
←Rate | 09-19-2014 20:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........
←Rate | 10-19-2010 23:32 by Corey C Comments (1)  


   messageicon My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 06:46 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 12:07 by conan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keeping the list of naughty girls all to yourself? Well played Santa.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 12:38 Comments (0)  



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