father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There have been more collect calls in history on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 08:11 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Babe I'm Pregnant" Guys be like: ♕ KEEP CALM I'll HELP YOU FIND THE FATHER
←Rate | 05-15-2013 13:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girl's father got mad at me, for writing my name in piss on the side of his house. I said "what about your daughter sir, it was her handwriting"
←Rate | 04-07-2013 13:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 17:20 Comments (10)  

   messageicon The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is going to be born prematurely. Like father, like son.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 12:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father"
←Rate | 03-13-2013 14:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to have three children.. One girl, named Stacey, so my wife can be Stacey's mom.. And she will have it going on.. One boy named Luke, so I can say "Luke, I am your father." and one more boy named Sparta.. So I can introduce him 'THIS IS SPARTAA'
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Danica Patrick's dad is probably the first father in history that's happy to see his daughter on the pole.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On this Presidents day we celebrate our great leaders; Washington, the father of our country, Lincoln, who freed the slaves, Reagan, who tore down that wall and Kennedy, who banged Marilyn Monroe.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 17:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  

   messageicon You fell sad because you didn't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Some people don't have a mom on Mother's Day or a dad on Father's Day so shut up.
←Rate | 02-15-2013 09:16 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I have a question. How is it that the man who wasn't good enough to wed your daughter, can somehow be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 08:08 by MTQ Comments (0)  

   messageicon LADIES: If your father is a poor man, it is your fate... But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity!
←Rate | 02-04-2013 06:39 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
←Rate | 01-24-2013 01:00 by @zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear son, Another hard year on the farm. Father had a stroke, bills are piling up. Are you famous on facebook yet? We are proud of you! -mom
←Rate | 01-15-2013 22:43 by gay Jeffrey Comments (0)  

   messageicon When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!
←Rate | 01-09-2013 10:54 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon This hood rat on Maury found out dude wasnt the Father, she ran so far backstage when I turned the Channel she was on 106 & Park!
←Rate | 01-08-2013 23:59 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father is always advising me to find a girl who has the same belief of me as the family does, and then marry her. Why would I want to marry a girl who thinks I'm an idiot?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 20:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well then you'll never be the girl your father is.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 13:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women like to hear things like, I love you and you're so pretty, while men like to hear things like, you're not the father or I swallow.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 03:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

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