father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You fell sad because you didn't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Some people don't have a mom on Mother's Day or a dad on Father's Day so shut up.
←Rate | 02-15-2013 09:16 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have a question. How is it that the man who wasn't good enough to wed your daughter, can somehow be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 08:08 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon LADIES: If your father is a poor man, it is your fate... But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity!
←Rate | 02-04-2013 06:39 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
←Rate | 01-24-2013 01:00 by @zubindalal1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear son, Another hard year on the farm. Father had a stroke, bills are piling up. Are you famous on facebook yet? We are proud of you! -mom
←Rate | 01-15-2013 22:43 by gay Jeffrey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!
←Rate | 01-09-2013 10:54 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon This hood rat on Maury found out dude wasnt the Father, she ran so far backstage when I turned the Channel she was on 106 & Park!
←Rate | 01-08-2013 23:59 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father is always advising me to find a girl who has the same belief of me as the family does, and then marry her. Why would I want to marry a girl who thinks I'm an idiot?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well then you'll never be the girl your father is.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 13:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women like to hear things like, I love you and you're so pretty, while men like to hear things like, you're not the father or I swallow.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 03:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable
←Rate | 10-31-2012 07:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Tylenol, as a Father, I can respect the fact that you make your products child-proof. However, as a consumer with a splitting headache, I hate your fricken guts 'cause I can't open the damn packet with my fingers...
←Rate | 10-26-2012 01:35 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I date single moms, I tell the kids "I'm not trying to fill the hole left by your father; just the ones inside your mother."
←Rate | 10-09-2012 14:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love being a father. Children start off as little bundles of joy and eventually grown up to be great at getting you a beer.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 11:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe they've made a Taken 2...Liam Neeson must be an even worse father than Gerry McCann
←Rate | 09-18-2012 06:50 by Paul Comments (1)  


   messageicon Any Woman that keeps her Kid from they Father is a Dead Beat mother too!!!
←Rate | 09-16-2012 02:45 by fadolo Comments (1)  


   messageicon ..... WOW ..... I just found my pet rock my father gave me back in the 70's ...... Amazingly enough it was STILL ALIVE!!!
←Rate | 09-13-2012 22:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When he was my age, my father had three kids, owned two businesses and a house. I can't even pull that off in 'The Sims'.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 07:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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