father OR dad Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'father OR dad': View All Messages
Page: 7 of 17

   messageicon I'm going to have three children.. One girl, named Stacey, so my wife can be Stacey's mom.. And she will have it going on.. One boy named Luke, so I can say "Luke, I am your father." and one more boy named Sparta.. So I can introduce him 'THIS IS SPARTAA'
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Danica Patrick's dad is probably the first father in history that's happy to see his daughter on the pole.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On this Presidents day we celebrate our great leaders; Washington, the father of our country, Lincoln, who freed the slaves, Reagan, who tore down that wall and Kennedy, who banged Marilyn Monroe.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 17:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  

   messageicon You fell sad because you didn't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Some people don't have a mom on Mother's Day or a dad on Father's Day so shut up.
←Rate | 02-15-2013 09:16 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I have a question. How is it that the man who wasn't good enough to wed your daughter, can somehow be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 08:08 by MTQ Comments (0)  

   messageicon LADIES: If your father is a poor man, it is your fate... But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity!
←Rate | 02-04-2013 06:39 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
←Rate | 01-24-2013 01:00 by @zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear son, Another hard year on the farm. Father had a stroke, bills are piling up. Are you famous on facebook yet? We are proud of you! -mom
←Rate | 01-15-2013 22:43 by gay Jeffrey Comments (0)  

   messageicon When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!
←Rate | 01-09-2013 10:54 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon This hood rat on Maury found out dude wasnt the Father, she ran so far backstage when I turned the Channel she was on 106 & Park!
←Rate | 01-08-2013 23:59 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father is always advising me to find a girl who has the same belief of me as the family does, and then marry her. Why would I want to marry a girl who thinks I'm an idiot?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 20:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well then you'll never be the girl your father is.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 13:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women like to hear things like, I love you and you're so pretty, while men like to hear things like, you're not the father or I swallow.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 03:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable
←Rate | 10-31-2012 07:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Tylenol, as a Father, I can respect the fact that you make your products child-proof. However, as a consumer with a splitting headache, I hate your fricken guts 'cause I can't open the damn packet with my fingers...
←Rate | 10-26-2012 01:35 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I date single moms, I tell the kids "I'm not trying to fill the hole left by your father; just the ones inside your mother."
←Rate | 10-09-2012 14:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love being a father. Children start off as little bundles of joy and eventually grown up to be great at getting you a beer.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 11:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't believe they've made a Taken 2...Liam Neeson must be an even worse father than Gerry McCann
←Rate | 09-18-2012 06:50 by Paul Comments (1)  

   messageicon Any Woman that keeps her Kid from they Father is a Dead Beat mother too!!!
←Rate | 09-16-2012 02:45 by fadolo Comments (1)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left