J.D. Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He's in a better place now."
←Rate | 03-28-2013 13:05 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Commitment doesn't scare me, the thought of committing to the wrong person does.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 11:36 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ''try me'' stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 14:21 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women will get botox, wax their legs, pierce their nipples and clit, pluck their eyebrows...but they won't do anal because THAT hurts?
←Rate | 02-01-2013 11:25 by J.D. Comments (1)  


   messageicon So when are Yankee fans allowed to hate Red Sox fans again?
←Rate | 04-23-2013 22:25 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared 4 nuclear attacks from North Korea. David we weren't even prepared for snow in the winter
←Rate | 04-11-2013 11:11 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I assume most animals are in the zoo for some pretty serious crimes.
←Rate | 04-22-2013 10:04 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seeing a lot of posts on Facebook and Twitter about dogs being stolen. Are the Koreans stockpiling food before they go to war?
←Rate | 04-05-2013 13:25 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 13:26 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time for "Team America 2" to be released featuring Kim Jong Un...
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:58 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friday instantly puts you in a good mood...
←Rate | 04-12-2013 08:11 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon We would all be so lost in this world if it wasnt for our great friends on Facebook who constantly provide us with news updates...
←Rate | 04-19-2013 10:24 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history :)
←Rate | 07-11-2013 14:56 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Billy Mays is up in Heaven partying like its $19.99
←Rate | 12-25-2012 09:38 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Because I'm stressed I've started sniffing glue. It's the only thing holding me together
←Rate | 02-25-2013 22:24 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always be sure to keep a good Facebook profile picture.This will be the photo plastered allover the news when something goes horribly wrong.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 11:44 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad, and left with my mom.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 14:26 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex without head is like a sandwich without bread
←Rate | 07-02-2013 14:58 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only at Mcdonalds do they say,"Sorry about your wait" and really mean "weight."
←Rate | 03-18-2013 10:18 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I slept for eight hours straight. Then two hours gay.
←Rate | 12-25-2012 09:38 by J.D. Comments (0)  



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