Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6014 of 6370
In a nudist camp, men and women freely air their differences.
The two kinds of people at every party are those who want to go home and those who don't. Trouble is, they're usually married to each other.
behind every sucessful woman der is a man staring at her ass
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04-11-2010 07:54
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I love getting all these "you are soo funny"!" You make me laugh so much!!" Yeah well I can make you moan also status king blah
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04-11-2010 07:16 by paulb808
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I miss high school...only there could you hear at ten in the morning...Bro afta shave on my balls was the worst idea ever
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04-11-2010 00:38 by paulb808
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I think the sudden stardom of Justin Bieber marks the beginning of the apocalypse.
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04-10-2010 23:36 by The Fred
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Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning..Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? OK.. Thompson Twins I am going to say no if you are taking a piss!
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04-10-2010 22:20
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letdown. Crop circles just don't have the same mystique in backyard grass. (mood: disappointed)
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04-10-2010 22:17 by markf
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...Broken nose, bust lip, teeth knocked, black eye..but she started it so f**k her
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04-10-2010 22:16 by Tyler G
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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
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04-10-2010 21:34 by The FRED
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There's a first time for everything.......Except deja vu.
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04-10-2010 21:15
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some kid told me that my "Picture is under Idiot in the Dictionary" I put on a medieval face and replied "It's better then the obituary!!"
supposed to cross the street with the skeleton. But he didn't have the guts
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04-10-2010 20:55 by Aaron
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-- I was playing golf with my missus the other day..She is absolutely horrific at driving and much better just using an iron the whole time. .....As for the golf she wasn't that bad......
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04-10-2010 20:50 by Y.P
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There are so many people looking for Bin Laden, I think they should also search for Joyce Dewitt from Three's Company. She vanished over 20 years ago. Not even TMZ seem to know where she is.
saw the best T-shirt EVER today: "Who the hell needs Hooters when you've got BALLS?" Win.
Someone came up to me and said get a life...I punched them in the face and said get a helmet.
They told me to think outside the box....I just learned this did not mean I could leave the box.
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04-10-2010 19:56
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whip it ! whip it real good !
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04-10-2010 19:05
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do kids in china push in there eyes and say "haha I'm American"?
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04-10-2010 18:58 by Willy
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