Y.P Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon -- My girlfriend pulled up a chair earlier and said..... "We need to talk about our future."..... I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be f***ing mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"...Needless to say - I'm now f***ing single !
←Rate | 05-05-2010 19:14 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon never apologizes. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am....
←Rate | 01-22-2010 12:59 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to McDonald's for a salad like going to a brothel for a hug....
←Rate | 02-17-2010 19:22 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm fed up of people challenging my ethics and saying I don't do enough to better the world. Even my coat is recycled, It used to be a leopard
←Rate | 03-24-2010 06:42 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ironically, it's really hard when you suffer from impotency
←Rate | 03-05-2010 19:10 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
←Rate | 03-09-2010 18:34 by Y.P Comments (1)  

   messageicon My wife said to me, "I'm fed up with you being so lazy, pack your bags and leave." I said, "You pack them."
←Rate | 03-27-2010 09:49 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife caught me masturbating to an optical illusion. I told her it's not what it looks like
←Rate | 03-13-2010 08:55 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hav finally finished my 40,000 piece Jigsaw, it reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
←Rate | 02-18-2010 16:31 by Y.P Comments (1)  

   messageicon - So what if I can't spell armaggedon?..... It's not the end of the world. .....
←Rate | 04-03-2010 15:00 by Y.P Comments (2)  

   messageicon If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman - or a new car. ....
←Rate | 04-03-2010 12:04 by Y.P Comments (17)  

   messageicon Cocaine is never a solution. Unless of course, you dissolve it in water.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:56 by Y.P Comments (3)  

   messageicon I was walkin past my neighbours white van that was covered in dirt ,someone had wrote on it, "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van." I just couldn't help myself from writing, " She is... When your at work
←Rate | 02-25-2010 18:54 by Y.P Comments (6)  

   messageicon I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.....
←Rate | 03-13-2010 07:32 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon - I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall.....Then I thought, screw it....
←Rate | 05-26-2010 15:34 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon at the supermarket dropping Cucumbers and KY Jelly into random peoples trolleys !!
←Rate | 01-19-2010 17:11 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Definition of Keyring---A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your f**king keys at once.....
←Rate | 06-08-2010 14:19 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon --- Just bought the girlfriend a solar powered vibrator....Seeing as the sun shines out of her a** it should save me a fu**ing fortune on batteries.......
←Rate | 04-08-2010 20:10 by Y.P Comments (1)  

   messageicon - My mates were arguing over whether a glass was half empty or half full. So I took the glass and put the contents into a smaller glass. Problem f***ing solved...
←Rate | 03-21-2010 12:47 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wife came home from shopping, I asked her why she had to spend over £100 on makeup. She replied "It's so I can look pretty, why do you have to waste so much money on beer". I told her it was to make her look pretty. Had to sleep on the sofa that night.
←Rate | 03-27-2010 21:38 by Y.P Comments (0)  

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