santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!"
←Rate | 12-03-2013 16:55 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! People are definitely getting in the holiday spirit, CRABBY, GRABBY and RUDE!
←Rate | 12-11-2012 13:05 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 15:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh yes Gwyneth Paltrow, you are so very country strong. I guess being born in LA, going to private school NYC and attending college in Santa Barbara really prepared ya.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 17:00 Comments (3)  

   messageicon I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
←Rate | 09-13-2016 04:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well lets see for Christmas I bought the iPhone,iPad,iTouch.... now iBroke,iHomeless and iRegret...
←Rate | 12-26-2010 10:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 07:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa put me in charge of the naughty list this year. So if you have been naughty inbox me so we can talk about your punishment and gift.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretty sure I know what my GF is getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome?" she got all angry like I'd ruined the surprise.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 11:47 by fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit!
←Rate | 12-04-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
←Rate | 09-19-2014 20:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every Christmas for the last 15 years, I've been too drunk to remember the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, enough is enough. It's time to get my act together. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)
←Rate | 12-03-2012 11:03 by caperdude89 Comments (0)  

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