AT Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
←Rate | 09-18-2010 01:39 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon *<]:{ > Dear Santa, This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body and please don't get it backwards like you did last year [:p
←Rate | 12-14-2010 12:38 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it's not like we're real friends and hang out everyday.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 12:47 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to be more productive today by making a list of things I don't have to do and accomplish every one of them.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 10:54 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know your life is boring when happy hour is when the kids take a nap.
←Rate | 09-29-2010 11:39 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon took my dog to sign up for Welfare. The clerk said dogs are not eligible. I said why not?!? He's unemployed, lazy, can't speak English, and dosen't know who his dad is!
←Rate | 09-16-2010 12:20 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon LOVE it when i'm home alone! There is nobody to verify that I have done NOTHING in the last 2 hours.
←Rate | 04-05-2010 12:00 by At Comments (0)  

   messageicon A penny saved is no longer a penny earned. It is a government oversight!!!
←Rate | 09-22-2010 14:38 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever write a book it's going to be about "People who waste other people's time by reading about their nonsense" but I probably will never write one so..... never mind.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:38 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon OH NO!!!! My purse is gone! How did they know where I keep it?
←Rate | 10-07-2010 11:46 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone can have knowledge, however it is only through age that you develop wisdom.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 08:00 by AT Comments (1)  

   messageicon wondering who ever came up with the saying "taking candy from a baby" as being something easy. I don't think they have ever tried it. I would rather take a salmon from a grizzly.
←Rate | 09-18-2010 23:19 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Beware of those people who never post any statuses!...Come on now, we all know you're not JUST on fb to play the games, after all that's what a good ole game of solitaire is for.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 00:14 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 20:17 by AT Comments (1)  

   messageicon Wondering if Google searches John Tesh for answers.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 21:26 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if bear cubs wrestle and bite each other to prepare for hunting and caring for themselves as adults, why do babies pull folded laundry out of a basket and lay it all over the floor? Preparing to be husbands?
←Rate | 09-17-2010 11:32 by AT Comments (3)  

   messageicon listening to her dishwasher washing, her clothes washer and dryer washing and drying, her air purifier purifying and thinking what an awesome multi-tasker I am.
←Rate | 09-19-2010 19:25 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it is nice when people are at least a little humble, even if it isn't their BEST quality like it is for me.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 23:58 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Loreal, your hair coloring products get rid of my gray hair and your cosmetics make me look younger, but tell me what you were thinking when you came up with this self-tanning lotion that makes your skin orange?
←Rate | 09-15-2010 23:55 by AT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry little boy who came to my door trying to make a better life for yourself, but I will not buy that 7$ candy bar from you when I can get the same candy bar for a buck at the store.
←Rate | 09-16-2010 00:04 by AT Comments (0)  


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