santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)
←Rate | 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign Comments (0)  

   messageicon People still shooting off fireworks better be careful that they don't hit any of the Christmas decorations they never took down.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:03 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single
←Rate | 11-29-2011 20:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas Gift idea: Take her to the Planetarium so she can see the world doesn't revolve around her.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa?
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTH!!! It's 2 days until Christmas and none of stores have their Valentine's Day stuff displayed.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 15:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  

   messageicon Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?
←Rate | 12-02-2010 18:28 Comments (1)  

   messageicon If Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
←Rate | 12-16-2013 16:36 by lkl627 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.
←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!"
←Rate | 12-03-2013 16:55 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! People are definitely getting in the holiday spirit, CRABBY, GRABBY and RUDE!
←Rate | 12-11-2012 13:05 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 15:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh yes Gwyneth Paltrow, you are so very country strong. I guess being born in LA, going to private school NYC and attending college in Santa Barbara really prepared ya.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 17:00 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Well lets see for Christmas I bought the iPhone,iPad,iTouch.... now iBroke,iHomeless and iRegret...
←Rate | 12-26-2010 10:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinking about celebrating Christmas a week after Christmas for now on. Then I will be able to buy the same gifts at 60% off!
←Rate | 12-27-2010 06:48 by Djmiller Comments (0)  

   messageicon The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 07:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa put me in charge of the naughty list this year. So if you have been naughty inbox me so we can talk about your punishment and gift.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do people with spinning flashing inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments think is tacky?
←Rate | 12-01-2013 20:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

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