santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
←Rate | 11-03-2011 10:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-12-2011 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause
←Rate | 11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  


   messageicon wants a dirty picture of you so I can add it to my Xmas wishlist to send to Santa
←Rate | 10-30-2010 21:10 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎5 reasons hurricanes are like Christmas...5) Family & friends out-of state-calling you 4) Last minute shopping in crowded stores 3) Days off from work 2) Candles 1) And at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
←Rate | 08-27-2011 08:35 by Shawn Rutter Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings
←Rate | 04-21-2012 05:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 20:22 by boomtastic Comments (0)  


   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Pretty sure I know what my GF is getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome?" she got all angry like I'd ruined the surprise.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 11:47 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:59 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  


   messageicon The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour...
←Rate | 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  




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