Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon against picketing, but doesn't know how to show it.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 13:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon eating at Jesus''s special...unlimited bread and fish!
←Rate | 06-18-2009 13:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon messing about with google maps..still giggling cos theres alot of Beaver in america, some small...some huge!!.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 10:52 by roon | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 08:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to wear underwear on the outside of his clothes tomorrow to see if people assume he's crazy, or a superhero.
←Rate | 06-18-2009 03:04 by Ron Comments (0)  

   messageicon helping chinese people name their newborn babies by knocking a tin can down the stairs
←Rate | 06-18-2009 01:43 by Lee | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon feels sorry for the rabbitt who nevers gets trix - it just proves kids are mean to animals!!
←Rate | 06-18-2009 01:15 by vamplovr | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon making sure he doesn't drink and drive. He might spill his beer.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 18:03 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an idiot
←Rate | 06-17-2009 16:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon coo coo for Cocoa Puffs
←Rate | 06-17-2009 15:51 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 10:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you`ll notice after reading this notice, that this notice isn`t worth noticing
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:16 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why, if vegetarian food tastes so good, do they keep eating Turkey-flavored this, Sausage-like that, and Meat-like Balls Marinara?
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:15 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon No trees were harmed in the posting of this Facebook status, but several million electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:15 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon experiencing life at a rate of several WTF's a minute
←Rate | 06-17-2009 09:12 by Dragon-King | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon will not be your emotional tampon
←Rate | 06-16-2009 22:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
←Rate | 06-16-2009 22:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon figured out a way to turn my dishwasher into a snow remover. I handed my wife a shovel
←Rate | 06-16-2009 21:47 by mat2sm00th Comments (0)  

   messageicon was pulled over and arrested for DUI. They police said my blood/awesome level was 10x over the legal limit.
←Rate | 06-16-2009 21:38 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon the reason Oprah is fat...
←Rate | 06-16-2009 20:03 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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