Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks Dennis Leary said it best...."Ted Kennedy, great Senator, but a bad date!"
←Rate | 08-29-2009 21:18 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to Utah - Set your watch back 20 years.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 20:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once you have seen a woman naked... You pretty much want to see the rest of then naked.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 18:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Treat everyone like a stressed dog. piss on it and walk off
←Rate | 08-29-2009 15:27 by Jack walsh | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon here, reminding all of you, obey gravity, it's the law.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 12:39 by Jones Comments (0)  

   messageicon off to (insert supermarket) to throw the biggest temper tantrum
←Rate | 08-29-2009 09:13 by sean | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I had to comment your status with "What happened?" and you reply "I don't even want to talk about it...", do you think maybe you should have kept it to yourself?
←Rate | 08-29-2009 06:51 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates it when you ask someone "How was your day?" and all they say is "good, and yours?" Thank you for summing up your day with just one word. Way to be detailed.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 06:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon recommending a Magic 8 Ball for times when Obama has no teleprompter.
←Rate | 08-29-2009 00:06 by j Comments (0)  

   messageicon spending time with his/her two true loves... Friday and beer!
←Rate | 08-28-2009 23:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chicks are like pokemon gotta catch em all.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 18:46 by Danny | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your worlds can decieve as much as my eyes can believe, So tell the lies for my mind and I'll see you fly into the sky.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 14:35 by U mad?? | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon when it comes down to it, it's the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile...
←Rate | 08-28-2009 12:19 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the studio with Chris Brown making new 'beats' for his album.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 10:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks auto-erotica is porn for AutoBots...
←Rate | 08-28-2009 09:45 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you check out, if spent shell casings aren't littered around your feet, you didn't check out right.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 07:00 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Real Men of Genius.Today we salute you Mr.Compulsive Status Update Checker.People are out actually having fun, your stuck reading about it on a screen. One click instant "mafia and farmville" updates to live vicariously through, friends you... haven't see
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:56 by matt h Comments (0)  

   messageicon handling guns in the hunting department...and asking the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon darted around the aisle suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible. just finished watching the movie and couldn't get the tune out of my head. Plus I had about 4 Red Bulls. Too bad for you!
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:08 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon counting the number of friends who remind him that it's Friday.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:40 Comments (0)  

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