Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon just not the same since the house fell on my sister
←Rate | 09-22-2009 20:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon dated a retarded girl once... we broke up because we argued about everything... I said "tomato" and she said "BOWLING SHOES!!!"
←Rate | 09-22-2009 19:54 by Patrick | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon To steal ideas from one person would be called plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called "research".
←Rate | 09-22-2009 18:11 by nini | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon more bored than a prostitute in post-guliani New York.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 17:46 by Travis | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
←Rate | 09-22-2009 14:38 by Brades | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Atheism is a non-prophet organization
←Rate | 09-22-2009 14:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon s of to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of prescription medication.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 11:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's 10:30 am and I am sitting here at the bar with my probation officer and my AA sponser and we are on our 5th crown and coke....and I am now starting to think that maybe.....just maybe.....I need to re-analyze my life and the path I am taking..."
←Rate | 09-22-2009 10:34 by Daniel | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon on the road. His cynicism is riding shotgun.
←Rate | 09-22-2009 03:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon when life handsyou lemons,make Grilled King Prawn Salad with Lemon, Chilli and Dill Sauce
←Rate | 09-22-2009 00:25 by RikkiSowtz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives!
←Rate | 09-21-2009 23:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 3-5 years.
←Rate | 09-21-2009 22:07 by Jay | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind my smile is everything u'll never understand...
←Rate | 09-21-2009 20:42 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon life is good when you're good at what's good to be good at in life
←Rate | 09-21-2009 18:51 by that guy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realized that going to McDonalds for a salad has the temptation equivalent of going to a brothel for a hug.
←Rate | 09-21-2009 18:42 by Ashden Ra§ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesnt want to die, not because he is afraid of death but because he is worried about all the crap people will find on his computer when hes gone.
←Rate | 09-21-2009 18:35 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's better?..A hot woman drinking more than you or that same woman buying you drinks?
←Rate | 09-21-2009 16:56 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon if youre gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty.
←Rate | 09-21-2009 16:07 by Mackie Ahart Comments (0)  


   messageicon Milton's stapler!
←Rate | 09-21-2009 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks 'friends with benefits' should came with a health care package..
←Rate | 09-21-2009 15:04 by Yaj Comments (0)  




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