Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Here are 5 things you should know about me: 1. I’m very secretive
←Rate | 03-22-2019 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles once . For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
←Rate | 03-23-2019 10:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon For a song called " piano man" dude with the harmonica won't shut the hell up
←Rate | 03-23-2019 20:54 by Mas Comments (0)  


   messageicon What goes up,must come down. If it hasn't after 4 hours,consult your doctor .
←Rate | 03-24-2019 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe Gronk didn't wait until 6/9 to retire!
←Rate | 03-25-2019 09:20 by Kado Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the people who have smoke alarms: Where’s your sense of adventure?
←Rate | 03-27-2019 09:40 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people who doesn't believe we landed on the moon in 1969 are the same people who wears tin foil hats, thinking almost everything a is a conspiracy orchestrated by someone with nothing to do.
←Rate | 03-27-2019 18:22 Comments (3)  


   messageicon If I were ever to win the lottery, first thing I'd do is hire someone to clean my kids room...and then buy some chicken wings with the $20 I have left over.
←Rate | 03-27-2019 22:03 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having babies is the solution to all of the world's problem? Sigh.
←Rate | 03-27-2019 23:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid because no one would be able to find it.
←Rate | 03-28-2019 03:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give up carbs?? Over my bread body!!
←Rate | 03-28-2019 06:52 by Mas Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought a robotic vacuum cleaner that not only works great it allows me to get something productive done while looking at facebook!
←Rate | 03-28-2019 08:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever feel like air-drumming while driving always play a Def Leppard song. That way you can still keep one hand on the wheel.
←Rate | 03-29-2019 08:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All conspiracy theories are based on the premise that the government is extremely clever. But most of the time the government is actually extremely stupid.
←Rate | 03-29-2019 08:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too old to be uncomfortable on purpose.
←Rate | 03-29-2019 23:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Digital world explained simply. Earlier -First thing in the morning - Toothpaste. Now -First thing in the morning - Copy Paste.
←Rate | 03-30-2019 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is everyone working out? is there a war coming that I don't know about?
←Rate | 03-30-2019 12:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you believe everything is a conspiracy theory, blame 8t on psychosis.
←Rate | 03-30-2019 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't usually get asked out by women, but when I do it's usually on the first of April.
←Rate | 03-31-2019 06:33 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always have time to Spring Clean, but when I do, I Don't!
←Rate | 03-31-2019 09:12 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  




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