Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon DONALD TRUMP proving that you don't need to be poor to be white trash.
←Rate | 11-25-2015 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting Jiggy with it!
←Rate | 03-02-2009 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your parents ever call you a liar, just say "Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa". Then walk away like a BOSS!
←Rate | 11-15-2011 20:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vampire goes into a bar and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea".
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:12 by Weeble Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont forget to turn your clocks back this weekend, i'm turning mine back to 1970 when we had no illegal immigrants
←Rate | 03-29-2010 10:40 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Women are like alarm clocks. They won't shut up until you hit them.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 09:43 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Corvette....Helping men compensate for small wieners since 1953.
←Rate | 07-13-2013 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would worship God, even if there's no Heaven.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 02:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Iphones, so people know you're a douche bag with out having to say it
←Rate | 09-08-2012 15:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big girls dont cry (They eat)
←Rate | 09-25-2012 04:24 by Aaron Wishart Comments (0)  


   messageicon 7 things I look for in a girl: Beautiful Intelligent Gentle Thoughtful Innocent Trustworthy Sensible. ;)
←Rate | 10-11-2012 20:25 by @itsfunny2me2 Comments (0)  


   messageicon puts the fun in funeral
←Rate | 12-03-2009 11:48 by trini Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over
←Rate | 12-19-2009 19:16 by TAJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?
←Rate | 12-25-2009 20:02 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon It took a movie like Blindside and Jesse James' cheating ways for Sandra Bullock to decide to adopt a black baby.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 15:57 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Twilight Saga is a lot like the World Cup! They run around for a few hours, no one scores and the fans say you have to watch it to understand.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 00:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Absolutely, sir. And what kind of pig would you like to hear?" (Real American, if he was in Deliverance)
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:19 by Tom Comments (7)  


   messageicon During fireworks is the best time to shoot someone.
←Rate | 08-18-2015 22:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Out of the 20 richest women in the world, only one did not inherit their money from their husband or father!
←Rate | 10-09-2013 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO alcohol...NO fun. KNOW alcohol...KNOW fun!
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:20 by Ryan D Comments (0)  




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