Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 and Japan lost many lives on 3-10-11. Add the dates together and you get 12-21-12.

   if a fat girl falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it ...... do the trees laugh?

   Meh,,, I guess I'm not against Hillary Clinton taking a drug test?... I'm MORE concerned about the GOP taking a drug test for allowing Donald Trump to be the nominee.

   find the gay person: ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ can't do it can you? it's cause their humans too.. stop hating, you look pathetic

   I don't deliver to Trailer Parks. If your house is on wheels, you must have done something wrong. - SANTA CLAUS

   The 5th of May. It's the only day Californians don't wake up to the sound of leaf blowers. 23 hours ago Comment Like

   Feel bad for blind people. I mean, seriously, how do you know when to stop wiping?

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   Hillary correctly predicted the rise of white supremacy under Donald Trump. Just saying....

   Fighting on the internet is like the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded.

   To my Atheist friends: Who do you thank now that's Friday?

   Kid: How come dinosaurs are extinct? Me: Because Noah put two gay dinosaurs on his ark.

   I'm guessing God had to change his password when the Mayan hacked his account and found out about 2012.

   wants to be adopted by Madonna too

   Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits!!

   The Bachelor is the show that answers the question "How much wine do you have to drink until you think the guy making out with twenty different women would make a good husband?

   If women ruled the world there would be no wars.Just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.

   I used to grow weed on Farmville and sell it on Mafia Wars. Good Times!

   "As Obama Discusses His Job Creation Plan, Bank Of America Releases Details Of 40,000 Job Cuts"

   turned around in bed to say goodnight to my beautiful lady...after three days I wonder why she doesn't have the decency to stop saying "who are you.? Please let me go!"