Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 and Japan lost many lives on 3-10-11. Add the dates together and you get 12-21-12.
←Rate | 03-12-2011 18:25 by Tony Wong -.- Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a fat girl falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it ...... do the trees laugh?
←Rate | 07-21-2010 04:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meh,,, I guess I'm not against Hillary Clinton taking a drug test?... I'm MORE concerned about the GOP taking a drug test for allowing Donald Trump to be the nominee.
←Rate | 10-23-2016 13:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon find the gay person: ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ can't do it can you? it's cause their humans too.. stop hating, you look pathetic
←Rate | 10-16-2011 15:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't deliver to Trailer Parks. If your house is on wheels, you must have done something wrong. - SANTA CLAUS
←Rate | 11-14-2011 14:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5th of May. It's the only day Californians don't wake up to the sound of leaf blowers. 23 hours ago Comment Like
←Rate | 05-05-2012 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feel bad for blind people. I mean, seriously, how do you know when to stop wiping?
←Rate | 01-30-2012 21:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary correctly predicted the rise of white supremacy under Donald Trump. Just saying....
←Rate | 08-15-2017 09:55 by TEX. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fighting on the internet is like the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded.
←Rate | 02-23-2013 23:36 by @ladycrabz Comments (0)  


   messageicon To my Atheist friends: Who do you thank now that's Friday?
←Rate | 08-02-2013 07:41 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Kid: How come dinosaurs are extinct? Me: Because Noah put two gay dinosaurs on his ark.
←Rate | 04-25-2015 13:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm guessing God had to change his password when the Mayan hacked his account and found out about 2012.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to be adopted by Madonna too
←Rate | 07-01-2009 11:53 by Vm Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits!!
←Rate | 03-06-2010 10:49 by jemava Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Bachelor is the show that answers the question "How much wine do you have to drink until you think the guy making out with twenty different women would make a good husband?
←Rate | 09-20-2021 09:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women ruled the world there would be no wars.Just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 22:27 by Bear Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to grow weed on Farmville and sell it on Mafia Wars. Good Times!
←Rate | 03-12-2023 16:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "As Obama Discusses His Job Creation Plan, Bank Of America Releases Details Of 40,000 Job Cuts"
←Rate | 09-12-2011 22:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon turned around in bed to say goodnight to my beautiful lady...after three days I wonder why she doesn't have the decency to stop saying "who are you.? Please let me go!"
←Rate | 05-26-2013 17:33 Comments (0)  




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