Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ....... In suppoert of the Ocupy Wall Street movement ... I withdrew 20 bucks from my bank and bought a burger, fries, and went to a movie!! .. Take that you evil corporations!!

   Ooook-lahoma, where the Earthquake comes sweepin' down the plain And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet When the Tornado's come right behind the rain.!

   Because of Harry Potter a whole generation of boys learned it was good to read. And to master control of one's wand.

   Big girls don't cry. Well, not tears. It's a combination of chocolate, movie popcorn butter, and broken dreams.

   Dear grown folks, Stop going broke trying to look rich and act your WAGE:)

   My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

   Take it Kevin Costner's been fired then...

   Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 5 songs in the world, right? Sincerly annoyed listeners.

   If you watch the Titanic backwards..Its about a magical boat that saves people

   Beer is now cheaper than GAS! Drink don't Drive...

   When I'm having a day sometimes I go to WalMart and just smile and show off my teeth.

   The number one thing on my bucket list; not dying!

   before getting married there are 2 words a man must know that are crucial to his survival....."Yes Dear"........

   Priscilla Chan is to Mark Zuckerberg as Yoko Ono is to ...

   Remember, You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

   Dubstep is just dance music with Touretts Syndrom.

   Sometimes I put laxatives in my dishwasher to help relax my bowls.

   A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '23.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.'

   If a cop pulls you over and asks for papers, he does not mean the zig zag papers.... :/

   Wonder if Donald is going to borrow money from Vladimir Putin to pay for Trump University lawsuit.