Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Dad what's an infinite loop?"..."Ask your mother."... "Mom what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your father."... "Dad what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your........

   I used to talk the talk and walk the walk until I met you; and now, I'm howling with the wolves like you.

   it just me or is Game of Thrones just a modern day Xena Princess Warrior?

   I like my women like I like my online forms, easy to submit.

   Cocaine so white, it quietly forms a single file line.

   The quickest way to a woman's heart, is through her rib cage.

   People with really bad attitudes should move to Colorado and Be Happy And Worry!

   I've got 66 problems and one of them is that I'm upside down

   When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

   After I have sex with a cucumber my walk of shame is to the kitchen to rinse it off and put it back in the fridge.

   Your hate for Trump only give him more attention while your love for Bernie is forgotten

   Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else at the Trump rally.

   So windy in New York, the Statue of Liberty has been caught doing Marilyn Monroe impressions.

   Accidentally ran over a guy and I stopped to call the ambulance but then I saw his ponytail. Now I'm treating myself with ice cream.

   "Together forever" said no sock ever.

   JAB: Well now that there is a prince of Cambridge, I am going to have to claim prince of Somerville before someone else does. .

   I qonder if Shamu and Orca get jealous of Shark week

   My dad used to beat me with a camera. I still get flash backs

   Oh no Chris from Kriss Kross died... You know the 90's rap duo that wore their clothes backwards.... I guess it's down to only Kross Dressing. That's wikkity wikkity wikkity wack!

   It could be worse. Kanye and Kim originally wanted to name the kid Wild Wild.