Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4703 of 6369
To beer or not to beer? thats the question but what is the answer?
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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01-27-2012 10:27
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never fish deeper than you can wiggle your worm
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10-15-2011 15:14 by C-dog
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Her: Leg or breast? Me: You know I'm an Breast man. Her: Sir, this is KFC.
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10-20-2011 00:03
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Two words that should never be together: Redneck Couture
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10-22-2011 13:49 by Rick H.
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"Counting to Ten" when someone pisses you off, works much better if don't count "out loud" while they are talking to you!
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10-24-2011 09:39
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I'm not tring to impress you but I can swim without floatieessss
I forget. How on Earth did we ever find out what the weather was like before Facebook?....Oh, now I remember, we looked out the window.
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10-29-2011 13:18
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It's trick OR treat, kid. Now pick a damn card!
I was going to wish you a happy birthday but Facebook was down
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11-01-2011 20:40
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When a girl calls you by the wrong name, that's just spontaneous role-play, right?
would happily join one of these "occupy" movements, if only they were looking to occupy a Dunkin' Donuts.
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11-03-2011 10:56 by Maureen
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Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths.
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11-08-2011 09:08 by Czovczov
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if facebook was a school, I swear i'd have perfect attendance.
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11-08-2011 09:46
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Ladies; Your eyebrows will either make you or break you.
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11-09-2011 10:07 by Czovczov
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Erasers can be your best friend and be like "Oh hey, you need this erased? No problem, I got you." While other times, they can be like"OH HEY I THINK YOUR PAPER NEEDS A SMUDGE RIGHT HERE, LET ME TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU".
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11-11-2011 23:43 by g0re
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I hope one day you will grow older than your ego.
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01-29-2012 13:43
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uuuggg one of these days I would like to wake up independantly wealthy so I can go back to bed!
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01-30-2012 14:24 by Missy
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If opposites attract I am obviously looking for a noble prize winner who isn't awesome!
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02-01-2012 05:45
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that moment when you're dancing like a mad man in your car and completely stop when another car pulls next to you
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02-01-2012 12:17 by Paul E
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