Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4657 of 6383
Sit on my face, I'm Irish!
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03-17-2012 08:53 by K-Mac
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I want to join Herbal Magic...because according to the commercial once you join you can share your ideas with upper management.
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03-17-2012 19:12
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I've signed up to be a ghostwriter when I die
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03-19-2012 11:21 by snotty
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Tigers knee seem okay today only because he's leading.
Sorry, I can't hangout. My uncle's cousin's sister in law's best friend's insurance agent's roommate's fish drowned...It was tragic.
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03-30-2012 07:35
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Went horseback riding today..Wind blowing my hair, it was a pretty good ride!! Until I ran out of quarters n the Walmart greeter kicked me out
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03-31-2012 10:13 by SEAN
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If werewolves lived on the moon, would they be werewolves 24/7
OK, it's been three days since I drank those 5 cups of vinegar and ate those dye tables, and I have yet to lay a beautifully colored egg. What gives?
gas costs more than milk, I found out today that my car is lactose intolerant.
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04-17-2012 18:27
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Congress to release new economic recovery plan: Vegas, Baby!!!
Wait, I'm still looking for a duck to give ('-' ) (._. ) ( ._. ) ( '-' ) ( ._.) ( '-') ... Damn, looks like I can't find it ¯\(ツ)/¯
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01-30-2012 11:49 by L
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You should never care what other people think of you. Unless you're a dude who wears sandals.
Zumba will fade away just like Jazzercise and all the others.
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02-02-2012 21:06
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Nerd Wedding: Instead of saying "I do" They say "I accept the terms & conditions"
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02-13-2012 01:01
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straddling the bowling ball return, pretending I'm laying eggs
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02-16-2012 09:11 by Tazor
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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Life is short, so PARTY we must
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02-17-2012 11:16
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just opened my chinese take out box and a cat jumped out, I guess the airholes should've tipped me off.
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02-19-2012 11:31
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You are so ugly...as a kid, pedophiles used to give you candy to get out of the van.
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02-27-2012 09:32 by Baddie
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Chasing the American Dream does not count as excercise
Just trying to see who reads my post. Describe me using only your Facebook password....
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02-28-2012 19:22 by mark
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