Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4584 of 6384
''It's because I'm Black isnt it?!'' ''Dude... You're White...'' ''Oh, so now its because I'm white? I see how it is..
My homeboy's got girl problems, so I'm at some dive bar offering bro-side assistance. That's code for whisky shots.
I'm wearing “thongs” right now, but it's not what you think. I have some flip-flops in my butt.
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12-19-2011 13:59 by flinnie
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When my wife caught me using a pen1s enlargement cream, she laughed. I told her, "There's no need to rub it in."
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10-15-2011 12:49 by @clarkysj
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Sending Right Guard, toothpaste and soap to wall street.
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10-15-2011 20:54
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I'll always keep you on my left because I know you ain't right.
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10-18-2011 13:01
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Giraffes are kinda like periscopes for themselves.
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10-24-2011 22:25
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Studying: The act of texting, eating, and watching TV with an open textbook nearby
Excited about the post-Halloween sales on candy and razor blades
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11-01-2011 14:16
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he wind is CraZy this morning... I went out for a smoke and the wind blew my robe plum over my head... I felt like Marylin Monroe ...
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11-04-2011 09:06 by MadisonMc
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If you're woman put you in the doghouse for no particular reason then head to the cathouse for the same reason.
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11-06-2011 10:21
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Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.
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04-26-2012 17:40
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Google you remind me of my girlfriend, let me finish my sentence before you give me suggestions!
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04-29-2012 22:42
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ah tuesday, mondays slightly less ugly sister
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05-01-2012 21:03 by drftn8
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If you remember the phrase "Yo Quero Taco Bell", you probably grew up in the 90's.
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05-01-2012 21:39 by BEGO
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Judge if you must but I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven as a kid and earlier this morning.
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05-04-2012 14:59
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So my son keeps getting in trouble at school so I go to meet his teacher and she is Hot.. So after I left the teacher my son says " so now can you see why I love getting asked to stay after class". What can you say to that!!!..jamie wallis
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05-05-2012 02:12
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Hey FB friend, the only time I've acknowledged you ever was thirty seconds after I accepted your friend request I scanned through your photos with negative results.
So facebook is now making Poke suggestions. And it could be anything on your friends list. God knows I've always wanted to f**k the s**t out of McDonald's.
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05-19-2012 07:53 by Mickey
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it true that every girl is a patron bottle away from a lesbian experience? Because they have that sh!t on sale at Costco right now.
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05-29-2012 14:22 by HiYourJon
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