Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Don't blame the guns. A killer has a wide selection of tools to kill with. Control killers not guns.

   Kamala has had more politicians in her than the White House, the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial combined.

   We need to stop looking at our country in terms of right and left, yet instead focus on right and wrong.

   I put my facebook in her twitter then she was youtubing my google and I was going yahoo.

   Heaven doesn't want me & Hells just afraid i'll take over!!

   Ok Northerners, stop criticizing how we handle snow & ice. It is very rare down here. You know kinda like winning a BCS National Championship up there

   Actually Japan lost lots of lives on 3-11-11. Remember they are a day ahead of us. So no it's not an coincidence. Your not scaring anyone. Go to bed and stop tripping out ;-)

   under your bed

   Capitalism: work hard, become rich like rommney. Or sit at home and be a poor loser

   thinks that Obama may just get into the Guiness Book of World records for "Most People Screwed in a Single Day"...

   If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

   not feeling so good I got chocolate wasted last night.

   The future is that time when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.

   Bathroom wall: Can I get a witness? Written below: I don't know. Are you going to do anything worth watching?

   I wonder if it bothers Morpheus that his daughter's job is to smile for the camera and take it in the rabbit hole

   Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

   resides on the top of Mountain Dew.

   according to VH1 calling women's boobs chesticles makes me undateable.what a bummer

   You must been born on the freeway .cuz that's where most accidents happen.

   If a woman wants a man who can take orders, they should marry a waiter!