love Funny Status Messages

   The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

   If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.

   Love means never having to say anything because you're both looking at your smart phones.

   When you love someone age , distance , height . weight is just a damn number .

   They say you never forget your first love and it's true, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about beer.

   With all due of respect, I would love to be able to walk up to you and offer you a big, nice cup of shut the f*** up.

   Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying - "I love you" to his Own Wife !!!

   It’s so embarrassing when you say, "I love you, too," only to realize the person was waving to someone behind you.

   There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

   I hate people who can't make up their minds. I love them.

   How many BBQ's do I have to get drunk at to prove I love America????

   don't you just love those who have no education who spout their ridiculous uninformed views all over the place?

   I make her coffee every morning exactly the way she likes it because I love her... and because if I didn't she would stab me repeatedly.!

   People that have 7 kids, let's be honest.....do you actually LOVE all those kids?

   A guy at a stoplight angrily pointed and yelled at me, so I smiled at him and mouthed "I love this song too!"

   I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.

   "We're so in Love." - People that I hope get hit by a bus.

   We had the kind of love that lasted till our phones died.

   Wait, it's "let it go"? I thought it was, "If you love something, drop it off a building." Boy, have I been doing that wrong.

   They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.