Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A "wifey type" has nothing to do with rolling blunts/cooking.. It's more like a woman that takes care of you, loves you & stands by ur side

   Valentine's Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together ...

   Since they can't seem to find any fragments from the meteor, anybody else thinking it was Wonder woman drinking and driving again?

   I know let's come out with some kind of fish product to mask the fact we've been serving horse-every fast food joint

   Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..

   If your middle name is Lee, you probaby have an arrest record.

   what if I just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in my mouth

   If you’re gonna use the word ‘horny’, you’d better be attractive. Otherwise, cut that s hit out.

   There’s plenty of fish in the sea.. I just suck at fishing.

   yep, they started smoking at the Vatican.

   No one is more cherished in this world than someone who lightens the burden of another.

   Shoutout to God for not giving wings to spiders.

   At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.

   "Tyler Perry presents: Tyler Perry in Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry."

   Whenever I see the new "Obama 2012" bumper sticker, I immediately assume whoever owns that car has been living on the moon for the past three years......just saying

   out of her mind and have gone to look for it.

   REMINDER: Don't forget to hand out White Chocolate this Halloween so that little Black kids can get their faces dirty too!

   Best three Kings of all time!! Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

   Religion is the greatest hate crime ever perpetrated by one man upon another.

   I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible