Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Wow, that one was so bad, all four cats left the room. 
Going to McDonalds for oatmeal is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Shoot for the moon.Even if you miss,you'll land among the stars...Or you will be sucked into a black-hole and never heard from again.
jacob to bella, 'what does he have that I dont have', bella says 'shiny disco balls'
I'm not saying your a slut, but you have had more balls in your mouth then the hungry hungry hippos
Dear People taking photos of the expensive alcohol you are drinking and p0sting them: Stop it!!
Wait !! Everybody stop posting,,,,, I dropped a contact lens
Obama promised change.If we are lucky we will have a few pennies from every dollar earned, thats the change we get. makes me wanna get up every day and go to work knowing I am funding health care for the lazy Americans who wont work. Only in America, WOW!
Аliens would laugh if they knew the smartest spесies on the planet still kills each other over religion.
took the "What should you be doing right now" quiz. And the answer is... WORK !
Congratulations to the new Miss America! Now please answer your phone, I need tech support.
the difference between michael jackson and acne is that acne waits till your twelve to come all over your face
Ex-wife For Sale...Just take over payment.
can't help falling in love with you... maybe electroshock therapy will do the trick...
I knew that my son was special when I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he told me "retarded"...
doesn't the woman on googles homepage look kinda manly
Trump supporters criticizing Malia Obama for smoking pot like all of Trump's sons haven't done coke off a hooker's breasts in the last week.
The booster protects against what, now?
My porn star friend recently passed away. As a mark of respect, we had his ashes scattered over his wife's face.
Welcome to the United States...Here is your crack and handgun.....Welcome to Canada....here's your beer and hockey stick 