Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Was absolutely shocked to hear that Hillary supporters Hated Donald Trump's speech at the RNC last night!! I'm sure the next big shock will come when I hear that Trump Supporters hated Hillary Clinton's speech at the DNC.

   .... Hey .... On a positive note .... We DID go 224 years without having a president this terrible!

   That odd moment when, during the Presidential Debates, one of the candidates takes a moment to promote their book.

   I get nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.

   Hey, look on the bright side America, she might not only be the first woman ever elected prez, she could very well also be the first US prez who is forced be a stay at home wife with an ankle bracelet on. #FeministMilestones

   You'll never hear the phrase "It's time to separate the men from the boys" in a Catholic church.

   It was so cold today, I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.

   Read my lips...$1,600,000,000,000 in new taxes... Thanks Obama.

   If you don't want to be profiled as a thug, don't dress like one. No more hoodies and flat-brims. How about a nice Polo shirt and some Khakis. Docksider shoes instead of LeBron sneakers. And a NASCAR baseball cap would help too.

   No one can name one thing Obama has done to make our lives better.

   Would it kill you to just get this right for once? There, Their, They're - There is a place, Their is something that belongs to them, They're is short for They Are

   Gas prices are shooting up faster than the Biden vote count at 2am...

   almost got fired at work today. I think I misunderstood my boss when she said she enjoys seeing me hard at work.

   "Whats the fastest way to make a woman pick cotton?" "Set the string on fire!"

   We girls need to stop making fan pages about guys and get back in the kitchen!

   Something you never hear in the news: "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North."

   wonders if the person that keeps using the N word realizes its not color orientated. Sounds like he could be one himself!

   On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer, On VISA!!! Christmas shopping time.

   ..wishes she wasn't so mean to her dentist this morning. After all,dentists have fillings too..

   playing backyard football with Betty White and Abe Vigoda....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit.