Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

   Canadian teen idol Justin Bieber scored a nomination for a 2010 Black Entertainment Television award. It's official, the world is coming to an end...

   bye bye weekend! it was fun being with you! cant wait to see you next week!

   Wingnut- Definition of a person that calls another individual a wingnut. Get over it!

   pretty drowsy......he's pretty sure he has a nap for that....

   Fruit Cake is YUCK! But don't tell my grandma that!

   Wait they replaced The Cookie Monster on Sesame Street with The Veggie Monster? What the f**k is this?

   The heart is the center of the body but beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason the heart is not always right.

   Studies show it's okay for me to simply say "studies show" in front of anything and it becomes accepted as fact.

   Why don't YOU watch where I'm going?

   Of all the unsolved mysteries, I wonder why we must stop talking to be able to start peeing.

   loves humanity....it's people she can't stand.

   hopes nobody else dresses up as Justus von Liebig, Father of biochemistry who recorded minerals in plant ash and proposed the law of minimum.

   tried to join a Tourette's support group but they told me to piss off.

   finally reached the Apex of Standardized Suckitude

   thinks that you should embrace your problems. And then make them somebody elses.

   There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

   Walking through walmart filling a cart with one item from every isle then leavin it at customer service. Then I am taking carts out to fill the parking lot stalls to give the 20 employees standing around something to do.

   When I was young I thought by 2010 that we would have personal spaceships and android boyfriends that had no feelings or emotions...I was right about the android boyfriends, but would rather have a personal spaceship!!!

   only took steroids for health purposes.