Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm starting to think those 4 years of "P. Diddy Language" I took in grad school may have been a wizz-aste.

   Money can only buy imitation happiness. I would be happy with that.

   Women and cats will do as they damn well please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to it

   Loves to see her go but hates to watch her leave

   running behind at work because of all these TPS reports...

   I can't stand complainers and I'm not good at keeping secrets. I should probably rethink my career choice as a therapist.

   Facebook: Lying to people you know. Twitter: Be honest to people you don't know.

   It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.

   There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

   Composeurs pretend to write classical music.

   <---- believes that good things come to those who wait.... or have the money to pay for them! ^_^

   thinks that Brunch makes Sunday morning binge drinking feel so civilized.

   BP Is Doing All They Can To Clean Up The Oil Spill They Are Even Offering The Cuban Refugees absorbant Oil Clean-Up Suits As They Get Ready To Swim Over. Thanx BP!!

   Apparently the phrase, "If you build it, they will come," doesnt apply to self constucted bedroom furniture from IKEA!

   Statistically speaking 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!

   Heard Rupert Murdoch was deeply touched by all the messages left on Amy Winehouse's voicemail.

   I must say you really have an open mind. And a mouth to match

   How can Judgement day Saturday? I've not even finished building Skynet yet!

   trading his mother-in-law for a stud service and willing to add cash

   dont force me to show my attitude...trust me m really good at it